


say nothing more, baby

by jxneun



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Major Illness, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23323753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxneun/pseuds/jxneun
Summary: Pairing: implied Yamato/Taichi from Digimon AdventureRating: pg-13, tw: Character death, Hanahaki diseaseSummary:Prognosis: severe case of alleged Hanahaki disease.Duration: onset of disease, 2 weeks with the patient mostly asymptomatic.fic inspiration from the song “like i need u” by keshi.
Relationships: Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	say nothing more, baby

* * *

**laying in bed waiting for your touch**

Restless, tossing and turning

in the dead of the night, ears ringing

**stay with me**

nauseous, dizzy

eyes growing misty

**i don’t want to be alone**

filled with regret

wanting to reset

**you don’t need me like i need you**

yellow carnations bloomed,

these unwanted feelings consumed

**wish we never met**

left the boy torn, dragged through the mud

petals tainted by splotches of blood

**pain, that’s an option**

an inevitable infection

trauma inflicted on the destined

* * *

Yamato Ishida was stunned.

Lost in the confines of Tokyo U Hospital, the blonde felt lost in the eerie feeling the sterile white walls gave. Takeru was by his side when he received the call from Hikari. Speechless, with his lungs threatening to collapse after running into the unfamiliar building, especially upon hearing the news from his best friend’s little sister, whose voice was hoarse on the phone and reduced to mere whispers, as if she had just mustered up the strength to speak on the phone after sobbing relentlessly, informed them that his best friend was in the hospital.

His best friend, Taichi.

His partner-in-crime aside from Gabumon, his comrade, his best friend, his inspiration.

His exuberance, a demeanor akin to no other, shined brighter than a thousand suns. His smiles and laughter imprinted in his memory, alongside the desperately thrown fists and tears, reminded him of home.

For a disease that is allegedly produced in fictional Japanese literature, a disease that is observed to have been a direct result of unrequited love. The physical manifestation of the psychological pain, exacerbated further by heartache, was akin to somatoform disorders, but the disease had limited primary research findings on it as to the origin of the disease. Perhaps, this just served as a cruel reminder that God ceased to care. 

Hanahaki disease, a disease ultimately caused from prolonged and extreme pain as a direct result of grieving a lost, unreturned love; painfully beautiful, it was equally fatal, with patients dying within mere days. Going from perfectly healthy, to frail and on the verge of death, all from an unreciprocated love. 

Hikari found out, after finding Taichi collapsed in his room in the late afternoon, with blood and petals left at the scene. Next to him, was the referral from the doctor’s.

**Prognosis: severe case of alleged Hanahaki disease.**

**Duration: onset of disease, 2 weeks with the patient remaining mostly asymptomatic. Flareup occurred on March 4.**

**Symptoms: Coughing, blood in sputum, dizziness, nausea, fever, mood swings**

**Condition of patient: requires immediate treatment as soon as possible. Dr. Narukami M.D. at Odaiba General Family Clinic referral to Tokyo U Hospital. Immediate surgery recommended within 1 week, otherwise proven fatal, may result in asphyxiation due to uncontrolled growth of yellow carnations in lungs.**

It was a cruel reminder, that fate was never on their side.

They were chosen as children to be the Digidestined, thrown into the Digi World; they were merely children whose clothes were far too big for them, children whose appetites exceeded their stomach capacity, children who were burdened and pressured as result of their parents’ problems and the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Feeble attempts to return to their world, turned into a mission to save both the Digi World and their world. Achieving the impossible, such as going through worlds via portals or a digital device to fight infected Digimon served as a reminder that in their world, the impossible could very easily be feasible. Taichi was resilient, he was a natural born leader. He was an athlete, his immune system stronger than no other, his appetite overwhelmingly large as a growing boy, his demeanor and boisterous laughter so full of life.

Yet, Yamato could not help feeling shocked.

Pale, with a weary smile that masked the pain, Taichi appeared sick, decrepit, and so, exhausted. Feeble attempts to muster up greetings, and reassurances to not worry, since he felt fine, and that he had accepted the outcome. The outcome that his love had not returned his feelings, the love whose identity remained unknown to Yamato. It was too late for preventative care, Taichi had refused to come in for early checkups, and the buds had sprouted into fully grown, beautiful carnations. Carnations that were equally deadly, unfortunate, and tragic.

A mixture of resentment, bitterness, mirth and frustration bubbled in his chest. Yamato was puzzled. Who could Taichi possibly be so in love with, that his love had left him incapacitated? Who would not return their feelings for the brunette boy? Shaking his head, Yamato recollected himself, but his thoughts were interrupted by a series of coughs.

If he did not know that Hanahaki disease was not contagious, he would have thought the persistent scratch and gnawing at his throat was a sign.

The image of Taichi laying in his hospital bed was burnt into his memory, as he quickly was escorted out of the room. One of Taichi’s coughing fits had erupted, so Hikari and Takeru quickly rushed out into the hallway to call the nurse. With blood staining the corners of his mouth, and full blown flowers blooming, Yamato could never forget the image imprinted into his memory of the boy who was reminiscent of courage, ambition, and hope. The stems and leaves filled his esophagus, the sprouts depleted his already limited air supply, and petals covered by blood and bile filled the bucket next to his bed; the damage had clearly taken a toll on the boy, and fast. The nurses escorted Yamato out, reuniting him with Takeru and Hikari, who were lucky to not witness the emptiness in Taichi’s eyes, almost as if he had expected this outcome, but did not let anybody know, due to his stubbornness. Taichi, whose voice was painfully hoarse, made feeble attempts to speak to Yamato, despite his earlier coughing fits. Yet, the following words he muttered left Yamato in an intense flurry of emotions,

_“Yamato, please go.”_

**Patient ID: 4242564**

**DOB: 05/19/19XX**

**Patient Name: Yagami, Taichi**

**Diagnosis: Hanahaki Disease**

**Treatment: Immediate surgery to restore respiratory functioning. Requires removal of yellow carnation flowers from lungs, which are constricting air supply.**

**Expected recovery: If successful, 7-8 months with rest, close monitoring from family members in case of flare ups.**

The paper that Hikari was holding, despite being a thin sheet with printed letters, felt like a quick dose of reality. Hikari called her parents, giving them updates, and the address of the surgery unit. Her parents, frantic and deeply afraid, just as they were when they heard that the kids were returning to the Digital World as mere children, had a semblance of hope amidst their worries. They wanted to put their trust and faith into the medical professionals at the highly-esteemed hospital.

They had giant digital dinosaurs and birds appear in Odaiba. How far-fetched was this disease occurring in their world, really?

Yamato felt torn. Usually, the two were able to communicate non-verbally; after all, Taichi wore his heart on his sleeve. Yet, this time, he simply could not understand. He did not even know that Taichi even loved someone, to the point where he had secretly gone to the doctor's and hid the fact that he needed immediate medical attention. He endured the pain to the point that Hikari had found him cold and lifeless on the floor with the petals scattered around him; the thought of the flowers taunted him, and reminded him of his friend, whose demeanor was untypical of the brunette. The unspoken communication between them bewildered Yamato, and scared him.

Knuckles growing white, his tight grip crumpled and threatened to rip the sheet of paper. Jaw clenched, tears threatening to spill, Yamato was so tense, and furious that the world was against them, and had decided to hurt his friend, his formerly abrasive and reckless friend whose compassion and courage had saved hundreds, if not thousands of people. His friend, whose stubborn nature, was easily just as self-sacrificing and selfless, had demanded his best friend to leave the room, so that he would not have to see him in that state.

With a mirthful chuckle, Yamato wiped away at his tears, which threatened to spill at any given moment. His vision was blurry, and the noise coming from the bustling hospital was deafening. Bitterly, he thought to himself, denouncing the way that movies portrayed grief. His world of color did not come to a halt; traffic lights beamed, and the city of Tokyo was still lively as ever. His world of color, instead was muted, and it was difficult to concentrate on anything. He had dropped everything he was doing, when he received the call from Hikari. He couldn’t stop thinking about Taichi, and his bleary eyes, raw from the hours of crying in the waiting room, failed to shield him from his obstructive thoughts in facing this cruel reality. Hikari was sobbing, almost hysterical. Takeru comforted her, holding her closely, his tight embrace and face buried in her shoulders indicator enough that he was just as distraught. Taichi’s parents rushed into the emergency room, demanding to be at their eldest son’s side. Demanding answers, the duo were frustrated, as to why there were no other forms of treatment, or medication.

To this, the nurses shook their head, despite the couple’s insistence. Taichi was transferred to the intensive care unit of the Tokyo U hospital, and the nurses informed the Yagamis: Taichi, in an unconscious state, is physically unable to consent to the procedure. It was up to the Yagami family to decide whether they should proceed or not. The implications of the surgery was that Taichi would possibly never be the same afterwards, his lungs were salvageable, but his memories would be in fragments. With such an intrusive procedure, it was difficult to tell how Taichi’s body would heal afterwards, or if he had a strong chance of surviving it. Yet at the same time, this was life-or-death. Hikari, after maintaining her composure, softly asked the questions everyone was thinking,

_“Could we please see him? Will he be okay?”_

-

This was all because of deceivingly harmless yellow carnations. His louder-than-life friend, who effortlessly ran from goal to goal and led his football team to victory, was the same person who passionately sprinted across the Digital World to save his friends; this same person looked unrecognizable, frail, and passive. All because of some flowers. Yellow carnations, the flowers representative of rejection, bitterness, an unrequited love, are simultaneously considered the flower of friendship.

As if time went still, the low-light fluorescent fixtures of the hospital building and the vision of the Yagami family and his brother grew hazy. Yamato felt a sharp, sudden pain in his chest. Unable to hide the discomfort on his face, he excused himself as to not worry the others. In the restroom, even with the dim lighting, the scene before him was unmistakable. Orange petals accumulated in the sink, and he was left breathless.

After a quick google search, he realized the cluster of orange petals consisted of marigolds. Marigolds symbolized strong passion, being associated with a legendary brave and courageous lion. At the same time, they represented cruelty, grief, and jealousy. How ironic.

Fate really was mocking him.

* * *

**no time for nonsense**

courage and friendship

a will weaning, weaker than his grip

**can’t ask you nothing**

grip on this fate

a fate he realized too late

**drank, feeling nauseous**

Scared and breathless

Oh, he could never guess

**too many toxins**

to the last beeps on the monitor, the angels sing

yet, what’s left is this scratchy, lingering sting

**not even conscious**

sheets blood-stained red

regret, from words left unsaid

**say nothing more, baby**

unvoiced emotions which undoubtedly dictate

the harsh decisions made at this rate

**say nothing more**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this! To be honest, this is the first fanfic I have ever written for any series, and I just wanted to cry. I just finished watching all the Tri movies, and to be honest (i tri-ed to follow the plot but I just got overly excited seeing the kids again & the clear TENSION between our fave digihusbands), I've dabbled in the Digimon fandom every now and then, and I'm very excited for the upsurge in the fandom again. With all the issues going on, with the pandemic at the moment, I wrote this piece, because sometimes, the only thing we can do is grieve, and then recollect to figure out what needs to be done next. I find writing to be very healing and therapeutic, and I hope that everyone stays safe during this time. Please offer me any feedback (before I have to go back to college aka Zoom University), and I also plan on adding some doodles onto several fics as well!


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